<-- Previous Episode | Next Episode -->
Length: 2:31:06
Intro: None
Closing Song: Girls Generation Gee mashup Donkey Kong DK 64 Rap
Content Covered:
Yahoo Questions and their immediate responses. 59 Yahoo Questions
- When will Obama admit he's a shape shifting lizard?
- How do you make friends when everyone hates you? Kate - Ask Jayson or become a furry.
- Can my cat be my best friend? Kate - All cats are furry. Matt - Is it wrong I fantasize my cat turning into a human so I can fuck her? Kate - No. Mitch -Every anime is founded on that simple backbone.
- Why is Guy Fieri? Matt - He's a monster. Mitch - He's a rapist.
- Who the fuck do you think I am? Matt - Oh god, fucking weeaboo trash. He's a maniac and autism like he never autism before. Kate - He's turning into Mitch. Matt - He doesn't. He is autism.
- Why do people like all this weird sex stuff? Kate - We need to put lesbians into gas chambers and blow air into their brains. Matt - Immediately loses shit and laughs manically
- Why do white people think everything is sexy? Matt - You can brag, but don't tell your wife.
- Dildo Farmer. Kate - We need to invest in dildo farms.
- My mom thinks I was jerking off to Danny DeVito what do I do?
- Can I control the darkness inside me?
- Why men stupid bitches?
- What's the deal with 4/20?
- Men are the worst thing to ever happen to women? Matt - No women, are the worse thing to happen to women.
- Is ball life?
- My boob fell off?
- Is it normal to be attracted to fish? Matt - You mermaid loving homo.
- My pitbull bit my vagina what do I do? Kate - The cunthole. Matt - I don't know anything about women.
- Will I get high if I eat lots of salt?
- Salad for dogs?
- KS No chill
- Is my best friend a guy? Kate - Find weird porn like Bailey Jay and Buck Angel.
- Thirsty but don't feel like getting a drink?
- Is it okay to pray to God for a girl to like you? Mitch - God is a rapist. No.
- Christians, did I sell my soul to the devil?
- How can I sell my soul to the devil for fortune and fame? Mitch - Selling your soul to the devil is like Netflix or PlayStation Plus. It's a no brainer. If not, you're a fucking loser. Kate - It's the only way to play tabletop RPGs.
- How to get abducted by aliens?
- How do I ignore the fact that school has the worst people in society? Matt - Line them in a row and shoot them. Or you become fully entrenched in the anime club faggot. Mitch - You'll never beat Cho Sung Hui's high score.
- How many eggs you eat today? Be honest.
- How can I love my ugly child? Kate - Well we come to love Mitch a little bit. It's a long road. Mitch was born from Matt's forehead. Mitch - I'm from 3 failed abortions
- I'm a wizard? Matt - Did you stay a virgin until 30?
- Is it more fun to hug a woman with big bazongas? Mitch - It's up to preference. Matt - No it's not. What about concave tits? Kate - I wish I could.
- How can I act like Troy Bolton?
- Is this his phone number?
- Why can't straight men tell someone is attractive? Kate - I'm straight says Mitch oh come on. Matt - Just because you want to fuck a guy doesn't mean you're gay.
- Sat on an egg. Don't know where it went.
- Why emo kid get exited when see a ghost?
- I'm so sexy why are people jealous?
- Why boy colon smells better than perfume? Matt - Do you eat ass?
- How do I stop the growls?
- Why girls like horses? Mitch - Matt if you're lucky you can be the next Mr. Hands.
- Are boys aliens? Mitch - When does your menstrual start? Matt - When does your menstrual start? Could you rephrase it so you don't sound like yahoo questions ya fucking idiot.
- My daughter will not stop listening to Japanese anime Satan Music.
- Is Beyoncé her real name or Sasha Fierce?
- Is Pepe overrated?
- How far can you fit a size 9 in your butthole?
- Send me nudes?
- I need cool facts about spoons. Mitch - They use spoons. Matt - To eat ass.
- Suck a dong all night long?
- Flirting on twitter cheating? Kate - I'm a tranny, of course my life is a life. Vivan James is a real person and she'll save the world to common sense. Mitch - She has a dick. Kate - Cool. Girls don't like videogames unless they have cocks.
- I sure loving chilling by myself.
- Kawaii Desu? Matt - Get your gay anime bullshit out of here.
- Why have sex with someone when you could have it with yourself?
- Is it okay to be friends with an atheist? Matt - It's never okay to be friends with an atheist. You have to believe in Satan or nothing at all.
- K-pop or anime? Half Japanese girl wears a K-pop shirt or a white girl wears an anime shirt is there a difference?
- Steven Universe harem.
- Zane Mailiks sextape.
- Can I name my son Bart?
- Why oh why do we suffer so damn much?
- Is 130 cats too many?
- Why do people like to look at memes? Matt - It's the highest form of comedy because it's the highest form of flattery.
- Why are white people cheerful being white? Matt - We won!
- What's the point of brushing teeth. We'll all die anyway.
Notable Facts:
- Mitch correct on the guy that never aged until he died was Dick Clark.
- Mitch wrong on Torn, done by Natalie Imbrulgia not jojo
- Matt wrong Left Behind is not written by Stephen King
- Mitch wrong on name of the guy that last voiced Mickey Mouse. Corrected by Kate
Funny Stories and Quotes:
Kate
- Canada passed the C51 Bill. Now Canadians can spy on Americans.
- When did we live the mansion for space?
- Mitch - Learn the lore Kate.
- Kate - What do you mean the lore this really happened.
- Matt - We were building the underground skyscraper to get to China and then build to the other side to get to the moon. At some point construction went awry but we got in the escape pods. Space Tobacco on the moon.
- Mitch - That triggers me due to my dad.
- Kate - I'll trigger you with prolapse porn.
- Mitch - I'm okay with it. What does grilled prolapse taste like?
- Kate - Like ass Mitch
- Matt - Get your shit together.
- Mitch - Hotkinkyjo professional prolapser. What would a summer breeze on a prolapse feel like? I only see it when an ass gets fisted to the elbow.
- Kate - You can use a pump but you don't want a rectal hickey.
- Hi I'm Kate Rectum.
- Those prolapse pumps cost $150.
- Mitch - That's why you never got a good mic.
- Fucking butts and and butting fucks.
- Mr Plinkett videos are so twisted they make me happy.
- No Mitch, I will never let it go. You haven't played a game.
- Mitch - Unless you play it on a soundstage with Star Wars props.
- Unicycle made of dildos.
- Matt -With dildo spokes that's fucking rad and leaves behind a trail of lube like a snail.
- Second Son is that the second game?
- Mitch - No.
- Matt - That game sounds racist.
- Mitch - It is. I didn't beat the game yet.
- Kate - Then why are you qualified to talk about the game you fucking faggot?
- Mitch - You'll talk about Gamergate horseshit.
- Kate - I wasn't!
- Matt - She wasn't.
- Kate - You are a rancid nigger Mitch.
- Mitch - I'm not rancid.
- Matt - Not only you are a rancid nigger you are a nigger lover and we don't take too kindly to that kind of shit.
- Mitch - Please, she's a closet redneck.
- Matt - She hates black people more than any of us.
- Mitch - Yeah, she won't date them. Black chicks are more racist than we are.
- Kate - It's a ruse to get in and corrupt the white race.
- They might be Irish is a horrible band.
- Let me tell you what I don't like about Giant Bomb
- Mitch Conccurently talks about Infamous Second Son.
- Matt - I'm getting physically ill.
- I wished people cared for me.
- Mitch is pretty much a girl.
- I refuse to buy Early Access.
- You never want to go to a Canadian museum.
- Matt - I went to the Canadian War Museum.
- Mitch - It was empty.
- Mitch you would make the worst Skinhead.
- Mitch - Shut the fuck up Kate. you peed in a sock, nothing disturbs you.
- Matt - Kate you are the yes that one time.
- Kate - I didn't shit in the bus, I ate hand lotion on the bus. I was 11 or 12. I was 17.
- Matt - This was last week.
- Kate - The lotion made me age 7 years.
- No such thing as a Asian MILF in Asia.
- Matt - They age 400 years.
- I watched the Underworld documentaries.
- Matt- Underworld 2 is boring. How do you make Kate Beckinsdale in a unitard boring?
- Mitch - You're gay.
- Matt - Oh.
- Kate - Underworld 2 has the worse sex scene I ever seen in a film. He's fucking her where he bellybutton is.
- Matt - Maybe that's where the vampire vagina is.
- I remember the GamesRadar forums 5 years ago. Hank, stop it.
- Matt - He's Ground Zero. He's the one that started all this bullshit.
- Mitch - (Antista) Matt is his son and he doesn't even know it.
- Kate - Antista?!
- Matt - FUCK HIM! HE'S FULL OF SHIT!
- Kate - HE'S FULL OF SHIT!
- Matt - He's gone off the deep end.
- Kate - No he's too dickless to stand up to his friends.
- Matt - I think it's bullshit that Curtis has to clean up the forums. What is this? Communist Russia? If people have something to say, let them fucking say it!
- Mitch - This is too inside baseball.
- Matt - I don't give a fuck, they are all assholes. They are a bunch of fucking assholes. I'm not saying I'm not an asshole, but they're assholes that don't realize their assholes. They think they are son the side of right. Self righteous fucking pricks.
- Mitch - I dismantled the matriarchy.
- Matt - YOU DIDN'T DO SHIT!
- Kate - Mitch you need to fuck yourself real hard.
- Matt - You weren't trying and you created this huge fucking thing that they needed to clean up because they're fucking pussies.
- Mitch - Kill off all the women!
- Matt - It's not that I don't agree, the world would be a better place if it was big greasy muscley men that wrestled all day for what they want.
- Matt - These people are so hard up for pussy they destroyed their own brain and they don't know how to handle it. If some chick dropped in their lap spinning, they'd be apologizing.
- Kate - They can't handle criticism. Gas the dykes? Excellent!
- You damned faggots got my head son turned around.
- Matt - I'm researching some fucking shit over here!
- Dermatologists hate him.
- Matt - Find out why?
- 2D Marriage is the last civil rights frontier.
- Matt - Worse? Marrying waifu or cat?
- Mitch - You can fuck your cat.
- Kate - You can fuck your waifu body pillow.
- Matt - But it won't feel my quivering dick next to the puckled asshole.
- Kate - Okay, that's true. You're right.
- Wayne Allwine nigger, get it right
- 4/20 and April Fools makes me hate the internet.
- If Alex was a furry he would be a porcupine.
- Matt -How do we know he's not?
- Mitch - He'd be something gay like a dolphin.
- Matt - That's really gay.
- Mitch - Dragon Furries are the niggers of furries.
- Matt - What would you be?
- Kate - I'd be an otter.
- Matt - Fuck you Kate, I would be one to.
- Kate - We can both be otters.
Matt
- That fucking faggot. Fuck Alex. His fucking guests he got didn't come on.
- Kate - We got Obama? Obama is it okay to say nigger?
- MattBama - Well it's your American right.
- Kate - I'm not American.
- MattBama - I don't approve.
- Mitch - The he orders an airstrike on your house.
- Protests don't matter.
- Kate - Unless you burn down your own city.
- Matt - I don't follow Baltimore.
- Kate - Neither do I.
- Mitch - Kill all cops.
- Kate - This is the O'Reilly factor.
- Mitch - Instead of the Spin Zone its't the Spin Way Too Fucking Much Zone.
- We don't need anymore fucking furries. They're cockroaches.
- Mitch - Jayson needs to go. You wear Super Mario Bros 3 pajama pants and cry everywhere.
- Kate - You need to chill out and act like a normal person.
- Matt - He's only like that online.
- Kate - I only see him online. I don't give a shit about him in person.
- Mitch - I've seen his dick.
- Matt - Who hasn't?
- Kate - He's over 18 right?
- You're moving in with Coughman and not Kori? Coughman/Kaufman = Jew Merchant in German (Jewish conspiracy)
- She's a semi-fickle women.
- Kate - I'm semi married now, treat me with respect. That's right assfuck.
- Mega 64, they're not popular but they're not dead.
- Allstar came on the radio, when I was driving 15 mph so I rolled down the window and screaming the lyrics.
- Kate - You're one of those assholes. I hate you.
- Matt - Hey faggot.
- Kate - Yesssss
- Wow, welcome to the Wii!
- Do you get black out drunk and beat your wife? You can be any number of nationalities.
- I laughed when I called you a Jap loving homo.
- Let's go into break and talk about shooting homos in the second segment.
- I forgot to take a pic of DadSlapper so I can say I'm the son of Mussolini.
- He's Polish.
- Kate - The nigger of white people.
- I hope we wouldn't bring up Jo Jo this week.
- Jo-Jo Jabroni the True Story of Gangnam Style.
- Papa Don't Preach is about the Pope and the Rape of Nanking.
- Kate - The pope raping everyone.
- I don't play games for little girls.
- Fucking Spoony. Again.
- Everything is fucking gay.
- Mitch - I agree.
- Kate - You're fucking gay.
- Mitch - If you care about anything you are fucking gay.
- I got banned for 3 days. First of all, Le is a victim shamer you dress that way you deserved to get raped.
- Kate - What the fuck are you talking about?
- Matt - My facebook profile. (On public what a fucking retard)
- Someone reported a block of text as nudity and I got banned for 2 days.
- All I said was Joss Whedon was a faggot and he quit twitter because he was a huge faggot and can't handle when people hit on him and has no problem of calling other people Klan members.
- I made an alt account with Joss Whedon with a tattoo of "Faggot" on the forehead.
- I made a post Guess who's back Flabby's back and Joss Whedon is still a faggot.
- Kate - He is.
- My 2nd post of the day is Joss Whedon is a faggot.
- I found someone who was peer pressured into blocking me on facebook. Guess what friend I was? Friend 666.
- Kate - Don't appease them. Say nigger, cunt, and faggot, and they will go away.
- Mitch - In a sense we are the real Social Justice Warriors.
- Kate - NO!
- Mitch - You know what I mean faggot.
- Kate - This segment is fuck everyone on facebook.
- Games are art, unless I don't agree in which they should be banned.
- Kate - No one has enough balls to say no.
- We're not getting trolled in the millions. We just get 2.
- Kate (on Joss Whedon) He is a faggot. A huge faggot.
- Katie the Potato. She writes absorbic shit, but she changes her name all the time which makes me feel someone actually hates me, until I find out who it is.
- You know the fatter one with big tits?
- Keep your fucking mouth shut so I can educate you Mitch.
- Paula Deen and Rachael Ray.
- Kate - A porn scene?
- Matt - I wish.
- Jake has my Zune.
- Mitch - You fucking faggot had a Zune?
- Matt - Why don't you fucking jerk off to yourself you fucking psycho?
- Don't turn your dog into a faggy vegetarian if you are.
- In all seriousness I pray for the day plants have a psyche they actually communicate with each other and have a soul. I need it to happen so fucking vegetarians kill themselves.
- Kate - I wish we didn't need to kill something in order to live. I know I sound like a faggot but I wish it was true.
- Matt - I understand, but grow up.
- How do you know that?
- Mitch - I'm fucking retarded.
- Matt - Fair enough.
- So much entry level garbage anime out there.
- Kate - I like that show. Fuck off.
- Matt - Fuck everything.
- Kate - No fuck you shitmonkey.
- Go to Random Assault in my butt and eat my dick.
- I hate other things that are other things. (bookfart voice) I'm retarded.
Mitch
- Do you think I look like a faggot?
- Kate - Yes you do look like a faggot. You need to shave.
- I have an apartment now.
- Kate - Is it going to be filled with Sonic shit?
- Even the Sonic Hotel isn't fun.
- Kate - You are going to do a 70 minute youtube review Sonic dissertation?
- I just want Kate to Shut the fuck up.
- Kate (To Mitch) Shut the fuck up.
- Easter my Russian grandparents, old fashioned. My grandpa gave her a kiss on the mouth and she was like your grandpa kissed me on the mouth. Grandpa sucked yo dick! She realized what she said and she burst out in tears laughing.
- Matt - She said that in front of your grandparents?
- Mitch - Yeah.
- Matt - Then your grandpa was like guess I have to go all the way.
- Mitch - My mom side is Czechoslovakian.
- Matt - Are they hot?
- Mitch - No
- Kate - How are you supposed to find your dad? At least my parents fucked people similar to them.
- Matt - You mean other monsters?
- Kate - Monster as in Irish? Yes.
- Jews are the niggers of the world.
- Matt - Matisyahu was big as fuck for 1 song for 6 months.
- Mitch - I have 2 of his albums.
- Matt - It's because your a big fucking queer Mitch.
- Kate - They call me fagmo.
- What's the game with siege equipment?
- Kate - Shoot Homos.
- At the Smithsonian when I said back in the old days Jeeps could fly, there was an old sad veteran that heard what I said. I should have asked him how does it feel to be involved in the greatest atrocity of man?
- Matt - Adolf, people still talk about him to this day.
- Smashmouth telegraphed the 9/11 attacks. They tried to warn people. They are Walking on the Sun because the government was going to kill them.
- Jet fuel can't melt Tupac.
- Kate - That's why they had to shoot him.
- I eat cereal with pills and use Nyquil as milk.
- Kate - You are speaking untruths.
- Scream into the internet and see who hears you.
- Kate - That's basically yahoo questions.