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Length: 2:33:26
Guests: Kevin Villecco Kori
Content Covered:
- Matt's cat
- Getting Swole
Notable Facts:
Guy Fieri gets equated to Maxi - B jr.
Funny Stories and Quotes:
Alex
- The song sucks and the podcast sucks.
- What music do you like to listen to?
- Matt - Besides Sandstorm
- Screaming to get the gum out of the beard.
- Matt - Now that's metal.
- Matt's not a giant hipster. He's a fuuuuuuuu.
- Fuck you no one wins Bit Trip Runner.
- (Guy Fieri) I ate a helicopter. inhaled a balloon.
- I apologize for 129.
- Mela called me Guy Fieri. She had no idea.
- What did I fuck myself into?
- He's been there
- Matt - Did ya fuckin kill im?
- Cosplay is cutthroat.
- Eat your own shit? Kevin thanks for coming on.
- Everything hurts and everything is pain.
- TMNT cause 9/11
- Michael Bay is just a guy with long hair. No posters. No 9/11.
- God help me if I get swole and look like an Ethopian with a B.
- My girlfriend is such a whore when you slit her throat she bleeds white.
- My girlfriend is such a cunt she gave birth to herself.
- Matt - Please continue with 9/11
- I always wanted to tell Nathan Noles (Nolan North)
- If you have a big hit like Gangnam Style and they want you to play New Years Eve say no. He played himself off.
- Wanted to buy rights of Cotton Eye Joe for $1000.
- Matt - We should do the opposite and play Happy Birthday and get sued every week.
- I thought you were on the show but instead I'm talking about babies and tubes.
- I saw Guardians of the Galaxy opening weekend with Mela's sister.
- Matt - The hot one?
- Alex - ughhhh....
- Matt - I don't want to be surrounded by fucking nerds. I don't have any friends
- Alex - You are a nerd.
- Matt - The crowd screams when SuperMurderer shows up like they all got fucked in the ass.
- Matt - There's a difference between being a nerd and being
- Alex - Japanese
- I'm so happy when I'm wrong because I'm pessimistic as fuck.
- You sat in silence and rolled your eyes cause you're a piece of shit.
- Matt - I want to see it.
- Alex - Fuck you, and see it. See how it works. I can't see the fucking movie because I'm dead. Let's move on, choke your beard.
- Matt - That happens everyday.
- Alex - Veins out your face.
- I retarded myself to hatred.
- It's cause you put your cat barb penis in your daughter when you said hello. Then you had to do it outside the windows.
- You lose all your brain cells by screaming in your ear.
- Rules of being a gentlemen #1 open door for a lady #2 open bag for a lady. #3 shave balls. Well if someone down there and doing a good job the last thing you want is a hair going between the teeth. It kills the mood if someone is going down on you and hear pfff puh that is a thing you do not want to hear. When a girl goes down on your balls it's like a giraffe.
- Blow it like a giraffe baby.
- Have you seen the world championship arm wrestler?
- Kori - The mutant?
- Alex - His fingers and genitals are huge!
- Alex - Oh my god, he's Croatian and he kills cats.
- Kori - I said in general.
Matt
- No matter how many hours you put in the show still sucks.
- (mitch) You're jealous. My beard is phenomenal.
- I made a video of Chris Antista of how he died.
- Nobody likes us.
- (Irish Trap Door) That sounds like a sexual move.
- Does that mean we have 2 people on the show that like Mitch?
- Kevin - I guess so.
- He has a song Waifu Dreams so I'm following him.
- What is trap? Not the same as a boy that looks like a girl. Not interested.
- Mitch - Twerk music
- Now I'm interested.
- Yeah I'm buying that for myself. You can go fuck yourself.
- Her fucking tits fell off.
- Alex - Speaking of tits, Jessica Nigri.
- Matt - Oh.
- Alex - The last one is Invisible Women and its just boobs.
- Alex - If show cosplayed as her own ass. 1 year she's chainsawing my penis and next (actually 2) here is a line.
- Matt - She's doing Sonichu.
- Alex - Ughhhh
- Sexy Layton. I want to lick him.
- She's going out with me in my head.
- I look like Fat Mack!
- If you like tits you're a terrible person. If you don't like tits, you're a terrible person.
- Why 50 babies in one tube?
- Alex - Some say art. Some say mishap.
- My dad tried to fuck me in the head.
- Matt wrong about Gangnam Style (released in 2012 not 2013) 1/2 correct about the meaning of Gangnam Style
- I have shit to do Alex.
- Alex - No you don't.
- Hurts when you take a bite out of your own beard.
- (Passout game) You know how I feel?
- Alex - You want every child dead.
- I hope more kids do it and they die.
- Deep in the heart of hearts I'm a meathead. I want arms like the guy in JoJo that drives his car through a stand.
- Mitch - I want to do JoJo poses.
- Matt - That too
- Mitch - Naked
- Matt - That too Do it in a darkroom so I can lift you up off the sink and fuck you.
- The only thing I do is masturbate and drink protein shakes.
- I masturbate in the protein shakes. It's how I get my protein.
- Douche at the workplace is talking about running.
- Alex -Running is healthier than masturbating and protein shakes
- Matt - I beg to differ
- Alex - You always beg to differ. Dr. This medicine will save your life. I beg to differ now please fuck right off through this door.
- Matt - Fuck right off through the door, don't fuck yourself on the way out.
- Matt - Don't fuck yourself with the door on the way out
- Thanks for coming Kori.
- Kori - Thank you asshole.
Mitch
- Beardpop.
- Guy Fieri shaped dildos
- Jenkem. My handle is the Jenkem Food King.
- Just like my dick.
- Matt - I like it. The noise of sound that gets transcribed to an image of a dick.
- My dick looks like a cat penis. I don't know
- Matt - I'm asking you.
- Mitch - I'm asking my girlfriend
- Kori - God no.
- Alex - Speaking of hooks let's bring it back to music.
- Be careful my girlfriend might be 12% Irish.
- Finger 1 cat sized Matt?
- Matt - Fuck you I have a real question.
- Not a fan of going to karoke with people and they pick Gangnam Style all the time.
- Going through 1/4 of a life crisis and knowing your body is slowly decaying and knowing you will die.
- Matt got a cat and it taught him how to love.
- Matt - Barely.
- Alex - Cat learned you to Nintendo?
- Matt - Coincidence.
- Do snakes have dicks?
- Kori - Yes they do.
- A fish is like the top 1/2 part of a giraffe.
- Kori - No.
- I can only grow a beard on my pee hole.... dick.
- Matt - I'm trimmed I don't do a full shave.
- Kori - Shaven balls is unattractive. I'm sorry.
- Matt - You don't have to be sorry.
- Mitch - In the sense of my dick, I'll stand up for you.
- You look like a troll doll.
- I'm using 5lb weights.
- I was playing Professor Layton and Kori said I was fucking day.
Kevin
- I'm half German.
- Matt - Which half?
- Kevin - Mom
- Alex - You were supposed to say bottom half.
Kori
- My huge German dad goes to Croatia. He killed a kitten going downstairs. He cried. You think Germans don't have feelings.
- Croatia looks like Call of Duty.
- Alex - Not helping.
- Croatia doesn't have any money for rebuilding
- Alex - Especially when it's invaded by cats.
- My brother shared this story during Thanksgiving.
- You don't need to clean a cat's butthole, they do it themselves.
- Alex - You see Matt really loves his cat.
- Matt - First of all I didn't wrap it around my pinky. I wrapped it around my tongue. Welcome to the show.
- Alex - Are you familiar with an ass tulip?
- Matt - No
- Kori - That's disgusting and messy.
- Matt - That's what the wipes are for. It's for my beard with all those cat juices.
- Alex - You should be ashamed of himself.
- Kori - Are you reading cat emotes?
- Matt - I cean it twice a day.
- Kori - That's excessive
- Mitch - Matt loves his cat.
- Kori - That cat's asshole was disgusting.
- Matt - That's because you didn't wipe it
- Kori - Mrs. Mitch is a nice lady
- Alex (MrsMitch) - She killed a cat
- Kori - What?
- Alex - She stepped on one in Croatia.
- Mitch - This show is callbacks.
- Kori heard 1/2 of episodes to this point of Random Assault
- Bullshit you can't delete me.